This week Siyayinqoba Beat It! examines the issue of domestic violence which is a huge problem in South Africa. Research indicates that one in six women is battered by her husband or boyfriend yet abuse is seldom talked about openly. Perpetrators go unpunished and sufferers are unsure of where to seek help. Domestic violence mostly affects women and children so our CJs first talk to one young woman to find out how she escaped from an abusive relationship. We then visit a rape crisis centre to learn what support is available to children who have been violently or sexually abused.
Louissa Mbhele lives in Masxha Township near Durban. Several years ago she met a man at a party and they began dating. At first he was “loving, caring and patient.” Louissa is unsure what changed in him, but when she wanted to visit her family one New Year her boyfriend did not want her to go and so he beat Louissa. Afterwards he apologised and said it wouldn’t happen again. Everything was fine but he began to make rules – Louissa could not sit in the front of taxis or greet other men – and the abuse got worse: “He wouldn’t stop beating me until I bled.”
When he was done beating Louissa he acted like nothing had happened and often demanded sex. Louissa became concerned because her boyfriend refused to use condoms, so she took an HIV test. The results were negative, but she told her boyfriend it was positive, hoping he would start to use condoms but still he refused. Recognising that her life was in danger she summoned the courage to leave him and return to her family. However, Louissa’s boyfriend had scared her enough not to report the abuse and so she suffered much more before eventually leaving him.
This is not uncommon. Women often feel dependent on partners who are the breadwinners and may fear that if they speak openly about abuse no one will listen, or they will themselves be judged. It is important that women know their rights and are aware that counselling is available. Talking about the experience is an important step to healing mental damage which can be severe. At the Simelela centre in Khayelitsha the staff helps survivors of sexual violence. Most of those who come to the centre are children. Government statistics indicate 60 reported cases of child rape every day in South Africa – but this may only be 10% of the actual number.
Most often children are assaulted by someone they know – from home, school, church or their neighbourhood. They are often unwilling to talk about the experience because they are threatened. At Simelela children receive counselling in their language, their stories are recorded and they are seen by a medical doctor who tests and treats them for HIV, STIs and if necessary, pregnancy. They then see a police officer. If the case comes to trial special provisions are made to make testifying less traumatic – individual prosecutors are assigned to each case to build a relationship with the child and the use of intermediaries means the child does not face the accused.
It is worrying and distressing that so many women and children are placed in this situation. It is important that parents listen to their children and know what is going on in their lives. Above all society must do more. Liezel Van Schalkwyk of Rape Crisis says, “Women don’t value themselves enough and men don’t value women.” Women and children are being let down by the police, courts, education systems and social services. Perpetrators are not taken to court, bail is given too readily and sentences are too light. Unless these things change society will continue to fail in its obligation to protect its most vulnerable and marginalised groups.